Moment Mori: "Remember you will die".
It was Wednesday morning.
Cold, with a droning drizzle of rain.
The cemetery was so quiet.
I shivered as I listened to my Dad's cousin Karen read a poem.
My Aunt Marci noticed me shivering and pulled me to her and wrapped me in her coat. I stood there listening, my head on her shoulder.
This was my Grandpa's twin brother's mother-in-law's funeral. All my Dad's cousins were in from their respective states, and standing around the coffin solemnly.
And as I listened, I started crying a bit. Not loud sobs, just a quiet trickle of tears.
I have, for the most part, always lived with the end in mind.
I cry at funerals, even if I don't know the person, because I know that someday, it will be me they are lowering 8 feet under. Or someone I really love and care about.
I stood watching as a big truck with a crane attached lowered the very heavy looking lid onto the box which held the coffin. It dropped with a resounding metallic sounding bang.
And it was over. Momento Mori. Remember you will die.
At least I thought it would be over. I thought we'd be done. But no.
My cousins came up to my Mother and said that they we're going to see Grandma, and asked
if we'd like to come. I had no idea she was buried here.
My Great Grandma Kay (who they were referring to) died when I was 2.
But I have one memory of her. I was very young. I doubt my brother Sam was even born, and we are 22 months apart, if that gives you any idea. I was at my Aunt Marci (who is my Great Aunt Marci, my Grandpa's sister) and G.G. Kay's condo.
We were eating dinner and everyone was talking. I couldn't talk yet, but I listened and I watched. And I remember being in some sort of highchair. And I remember the wallpaper.
It was 70's era colored, orange and brownish. And I remember G.G. Kay walking us out to the door. She didn't walk down, but she stuck her amazingly beautiful white haired head out and watched us go down all those stairs.
That is my only memory.
So as I followed my cousins, Aunt Marci, and my Aunt Kathy (Dad's sister) toward a grave stone, there was a odd sort of excitement inside. I never remembered this part.
I trudged up toward two stones, almost afraid to look.
And what I saw made me take a sharp breath. I was terrified. It was like I was looking into the future.
I've always known my Dad was named after his grandfathers (both named Daniel), and therefor he would have the same name as his dad's dad.
But nothing prepared me for reading
DANIEL TEMPESTINI
on the headstone. It took my breath away. I was looking into the far far future.
And I started crying. My Mother didn't get it. She was busy looking at the dates.
Then I looked over.
And there was my G.G. Kay's gravestone.
Catherine Tempestini
and I cried all over again.
But it wasn't a scared cry. It was a brave cry. A cry that knew that I was living on in their name.
That even though someday I'd be there, I was here now, and this was my life. My time to shine.
And nothing is going to make me lose my time.
I will not look back from my deathbed and wish I was 15 again. Because I am 15 now. And now is my time to be 15.
Oh, and I found out that my great great grandmothers name was Alexandra.
I think that it's so beautiful with our last name.
Isn't it?
ALEXANDRA TEMPESTINI
It has the perfect ring to it.
"I found a love in me
I always somehow knew that it existed
it just needed to be set free"
_Relient k
